I Love a Parade...
My dog snores. Abbey, the Boston Terrier snores. And sometimes that is the only noise you will hear in my house. The girls are with Gary for the summer and silence has been running rampant around here. Listen, don't get me wrong. I am truly enjoying my time alone. Watching Food Network until I am full of Tyler, Rachel, Paula and that arrogant Barefoot Contessa. Eating potato chips right out of the bag. Sleeping until 8:00AM. Viciously cleaning out their rooms, coming out with BAGS of trash. Thinking. Being. Breathing. None of this sucks, I can assure you.
But, it's the sound of the silence that is a little unnerving. Here's the thing. I usually live my life with this never ending chatter in my head 'What should we have for dinner? Do I want to put on the black suits and go to work again? Did I sign the school papers? Is Ilene home? Why did I let him break my heart? Why? Who? What? When? Blah, blah, blah...' But these days the endless chatter in my head has subsided and that makes me a little nervous.
Look, my chatter and I go back a long way. In some ways I think it has helped me survive some stuff. It has distracted me from many things. It is comforting. It has been with me for as long as I can remember. And now I think it's leaving.
I read something the other day that make me think (okay, so everything makes me think, but I digress...), it was talking about the chatter. MY chatter. It talked about how when the chattering starts, simply look at it like a parade. Watch it go by. Enjoy it. Don't. But simply watch it. I liked that symbolism. The whole parade thing. Because even as loud and entertaining as the parade might be, I liked the idea that I don't have to join the parade, that I can simply watch it as it goes by. The words about the parade greatly effected me. It felt like it was written just for me. And I knew that my own parade was about to start.
I am not saying that I am not going to stop thinking...because to me, that would be like asking me to stop breathing. But, it's the chatter, the stuff that I obsess about, the endless clutter in my head, well that is what's changing.
I am letting go of my friend, my chatter. I will watch you go by my like a parade, but I can't hang on to you anymore. You have served me well, but it's time to let go. I will still watch you go by, but I won't allow you to control me. Paralyze me. Overwhelm me. You will always be with me (because that's just the kind of chick I am...), but I am simply going to watch you go by me like a parade.
Because honestly? Who doesn't love a parade?
posted by Rose @ 9:59 AM
1 Comments:
In "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera, the author talks about how people who lived behind the Iron Curtain perceived parades differently than those who lived in the West. To Sabina, a native of Czechoslavia, participating in a parade was a form of regimentation. Her Swiss lover, Franz, on the other hand, had a perception like yours: who doesn't love a parade? Neither Franz nor Sabina are right or wrong, they just perceive things differently.
Although I have written a novel, "Sister of Mercy," I haven't been aggressively pushing it. But since you're a fellow writer, I would greatly appreciate it if you read the three excerpts of it that I have on my blogpage. If the excerpts whet your interest, you can read the noevel in its entirety. Thank you. I look forward to your comments, come what may.
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